Seeing Double
posted 08.12.2004 by Kristen

There are days when language just isn’t sufficient to convey an experience, and today was definitely one of those days.

About a week and a half ago, Jim and I experienced a bit of a scare. To put it bluntly, we were afraid we were having a miscarriage. Since I was only about 5 weeks along, they told me it would be too early to see anything on an ultrasound. So last Monday, August 2, we trooped in to the doctor’s office to have what’s called a “beta test” done.

This measures the amount of hCG (the human pregnancy hormone – the same thing that causes the pink line to show up on the pee sticks) in your blood. Your hCG level is supposed to double on a regular timeframe, approximately every 96-104 hours at my stage, so they have to take two successive tests to ensure the level is going up appropriately or going down.

My hCG level at the first test was about 16,900. Which is really good, but unfortunately that doesn’t really tell you anything definitive.

During the weeklong wait between tests, I did some online research about normal beta levels, and learned that 16,900 is kind of unusually high for as far along as I was. And one thing that can cause high levels is a multiple pregnancy. But it can also just be high for no reason, and the hCG level alone doesn’t mean anything. In fact I thought the whole idea so far-fetched that I joked to Jim about it. “Hey, maybe it’s twins!” Ha ha.

Anyway, the hCG level at the next beta test was 54,000, so everyone felt much reassured and happy and like everything was going to be okay. But, realizing that I was a crazy, hormonal, pregnant lady, my doctors’ office set up an ultrasound appointment for me today. Just to be sure.

Jim wasn’t able to rearrange his work schedule since it was a last-minute thing, so I trekked out to the ultrasound facility on my own. Although I was feeling relatively confident from the beta tests, I was still pretty nervous and fearing the worst. The ultrasound technician started with the abdominal scan, and she was able to point out the implantation site and the placenta, but she wasn’t able to see anything inside the placenta.

Then she did the worst thing possible. “I’ll have to go talk to the doctor; I’ll be right back,” she said, right before disappearing for approximately three hours. Okay, it was probably more like 10-15 minutes, but when you’re still kind of afraid you’re having a miscarriage and the tech says she has to go talk to the doctor and then she’s gone for a long stretch, your mind has the opportunity to go to all kinds of places it has no business going. I was of course imagining that she had bad news, but only doctors were allowed to officially tell people bad news.

But apparently she only had to go get the doctor because they needed to do a transvaginal ultrasound (yeah, it’s pretty much exactly what it sounds like it is) in order to see better since it’s still so early in the pregnancy, and only doctors are allowed to do those.

The doctor fires up the machine again and pretty immediately is able to point out the fetus, complete with heartbeat! It looked like a little jellybean with a teeny pinpoint of flashing light. I think my exact words to the doctor and the tech were, “Oh my god, that’s the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life!”

The doctor set about taking measurements of the little jellybean, length, heart rate, and whatever else it is they measure, for the next couple of minutes. This whole time, I’ve been watching the proceedings on a TV screen mounted on the wall.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, there’s another jellybean. Before the thought has even fully formed in my brain, the doctor says, “Do you see two?” Um, yes, indeed, I did see two.

“Maybe it’s just reverb. Let me reset the machine.” The screen flickered off and back on, and there were still two jellybeans. It’s a good thing they have you lying down during those ultrasounds.

“And they’re in the same sac. Identical! That’s very rare, you know!”

Then she just went about measuring the second jellybean, said, “Okay, we’ll send these results over to your doctor. Congratulations!” and was out the door again. And that was that.

I walked out into the parking lot in a daze, and immediately called Jim from my cell phone. He was waiting for my call, as anxious about the news we might be receiving as I had been. “Well, it was good news. But are you sitting down?”

We pretty much sat on the phone repeating, “Twins. Oh my god. Twins.” and laughing maniacally back and forth to each other for about 15 minutes straight.

Oh my god. Twins. Not exactly the news I’d braced myself for today.